July 28

Woke up from a dream where, because we had papers with my Pop's (Grandpa's) writing, he was able to visit in his physical form for a short time. I had been talking to my grandma in the living room, when I heard his voice from the backrooms and turned to see him walk to me. I ran to him and essentially clung to him while I bawled. At some point later, I was talking to my grandma again, in the dream, and acknowledged that he had to go back, that he couldn't stay. Then, I woke up and attended to my grandma in real life.

I've been fortunate enough to have had dreams like this before about him. They start with his return. My subsequent tear filled breakdown follows. Then, I realize that he can't stay and I wake up.

It makes sense that he'd make an appearance this morning. Today is the anniversary of my dad's passing.  I didn't know my dad. He was taken too young for me to mourn the man, but I do mourn the absence his death caused in my life. I wish I'd known what it was like to have him as a dad. I knew my Pop, though, so I'm grateful that he came back to comfort me like he did so often, when he was here physically. Today, I miss them both. Today, I mourn them both. Today, I am grateful to be loved by them both.