Friends

Learning is really hard. Its hard being Human. Its hard to feel emotions that sweep you into a frenzy or that subdue you when you would rather jump and leap for joy. Sometimes there just isn't that option of feeling the way you want to feel. Sometimes there are chemicals called hormones that can make you feel depressed or in love. For some time now I have been thinking about the body and its cells. Many people, who don't know much about cells, think that everything that the body does is dictated by the DNA housed in the nucleus. For the most part, that is true, the DNA is composed of nucleotides arranged in specific orders that are blueprints to produce proteins that make and do everything. During cell differentiation, when a zygote is developing, cells made to produce only certain proteins in certain areas of a body. But, how do they know when to make the proteins? Because you do not want you body to waste energy and make proteins that you do not need, the environment that the cell is in dictates what it is supposed to make. Therefore you can create an environment for yourself, mentally and it can manifest because your "body" does what the environment tells it to.

The reason I wanted to talk about this was because my best friend since 7th grade is feeling depressed. She put so much of her energy and time into trying to get good grades and doing everything else under the sun in order to get into vet school. She got the news some time ago that she was rejected. The life she had created around this goal has left her feeling lost and she is sad and depressed. I am someone who loves their friends a lot and it hurts me to see one of them sad and feeling like they are unable to help themselves. We are in college together and its very hard to fix yourself when you are constantly thinking about your future and why you are spending so much money on something that may not even help you. She plans on reapplying eventually, but she has to figure out what to do until then. She is scared for her future. She is having a hard time looking toward the positive. To top it off her cat is sick and won't eat, and the fish she has to help relieve stress are dying. She found out today that the Betta she has had for about a year, died. Staring at the aquarium glass, she asked "why do I keep killing them?" She asked this of herself. The only response I could give was, "Its not your fault." My answer was there mostly to help me more than her.

I have gone through bouts of depression and anxiety induced panic attacks too when I was in high school, but now that I have this newer perspective on life, I don't know how to help her with out forcing spirituality on her. She is a younger soul and has been hesitant to believe, so I don't bring up the subject with her often. It pains me to see her struggle when its possible for her to not feel as she does.

I need to remember not to give her all my energy or else I will be left out of balance too. Life is hard and I welcome going home, but I know I have more to learn and it excites me.